standing on the edge.

can't believe i'm actually keeping you company while you study. this is ridiculous. i should be sleeping! ahah. but i'm such a nice person so i'll stay. 

i'm really bored though. i know i can say this now cos by the time you read this, i would be offline and it wouldn't matter anymore.

i'm trying to complete my readings for accounting and finance and law now. but i keep reading the same line over and over again. 

"the alternative method of realizing intra-group profit"

yupp. thats the life of an accountant. boring as hell.

i burnt my hand while cooking today. well, i wasnt exactly cooking per se. but i was washing the pot and it was still really hot and i accidentally burnt myself. its not such a big deal. ahha. just a little painful. nothing a little sleep won't cure.

the kitchen was crazy. like a war zone. there was tons of oil in the pot and it was splattering like crazy when we put the chicken in. and poor fimy got caught in the cross-fire. thank god it wasnt so bad. but still hurt though.

didnt do much studying today. was catching up on house. its truly addictive i tell you. was supposed to go to tawanda's church today but just couldnt wake up. was hanging out with ish, saritha, joanna, dini and john till late. and then there was skyping you. so yeh. ahah. i'll make it up some how! i havent forgotten.

but i feel like i'm really drawing away from Him. its been so long since i've felt his presence in my life. i know he's always been there but i just never got to feel it the way i did when i was in spore. life here changes a lot of things. its not that i dont want to feel that connection and closeness again. its just that, its difficult to. its hard to go back and be that pious devoted christian i once was. commitment to god now hasnt been going well for me. oh how i long for that touch from him and hearing him again. how i desire to be his again. to truly say, i'm a child of god. that longing is just dying slowly inside of me. and i'm scared. scared that once that fire burns out, nothing would relight it again. and that, that my friends, is when it all ends. when you would feel like the world means nothing to you anymore. that living each day is such a chore. that everyday is meaningless. that's something i don't want to ever have to go through. that is one thing that i never wanna face. so lord, help me. it's time i did turn back to you.

turn your eyes upon Jesus. look full in His wonderful face. and the things of earth, will go strangely dim. in the light of His glory and grace.